Naruto gets a job and random stuff happens!
by mei-yasasame
Summary: Hooray! Random Stuff! It's kind of a love story with random events. I hope you people like it!
1. Naruto gets the job

Warning this is a naruxsaku story

Warning this is a naruxsaku story! Enjoy. Review if you like!

Naruto finished up his bowl of ramen and sat in his chair. He had walked around the whole village thinking of something, something important, but now he'd forgotten. How could he forget?! He bonked himself on the head trying to think. The girl who was carrying away his plate looked at him nervously. Then Naruto got up and left with his hands on his head.

Naruto: GAH! Think Naruto! What was it that you had to remember?!

Then he heard that familiar voice that he'd heard for most of his life.

Jiriya: Yes yes! Excellent! This will make a thrilling sequel for my next book!

Um, not that voice another voice that he'd heard all his life.

Sakura: I'm telling you Ino! I don't want to get my hair done. It's just too expensive and too much trouble. It's going to get messed up anyways so why bother?!

Ino: Come on Sakura! Live for the moment!

Sakura: NO!

Naruto then remembered what his foolish brain had forgotten. Sakura's birthday was coming up and he needed to get her a present. He wanted to get her something she could always remember him by, something equally beautiful and stunning as her, and something that said I love you but in a subtle way. He was NOT going to get her a bowl of ramen like LAST year. He could still feel the bruises. He looked through windows of markets and finally found something she might like. A necklace. Bound beautifully by small silver chains and decorated with pink stones with a large pink topaz heart in the middle. It was perfect, until he saw the price 59999 yen.

Naruto: NOOOOooooo, I don't have THAT kind of money!

But he couldn't think of a more perfect gift. He went to Granny Tsunade and see if she could hook him up with a job.

Granny Tsunade: What do you want a job for? You're the second laziest slob in the village. (points to Shikamaru who is the first laziest slob)

Shikamaru: Hey! Well, I guess it's true…

Naruto: Please. I need to get someone I care about something special. But specialties cost a lot of money…

Granny Tsunade: Well, I think there is an opening at a fast food place.

Naruto: I need 60000 yen by this weekend!

Granny Tsunade: You're an idiot you know that…

Naruto: Yeah, but I'm a desperate idiot!

Granny Tsunade: Weeeell, there is this opening on a mission and if you come back alive I'll pay you 60000 yen.

Naruto: YES! That's perfect!

Granny Tsunade: All right then, here's your assignment. You and your team are going to travel to the sand village. There's been some commotion around and it might be Akatsuki.

Naruto: gulp I can do it! I'm not afraid of anything!

Granny Tsunade: All right then, here are your team members.

The door opened and Naruto's eyes widened.

Naruto: Aw hell no.


	2. Team Idiot goes on their mission

Naruto stared at the people in the doorway

Naruto stared at the people in the doorway. Sai, in all his black-haired sort-of emotionless sort-of anti-glory. And Ino in all her blond-haired slutty anti-glory. Standing in between them was Kakashi. Nauto pointed warily at them in disbelief.

Naruto: THEY'RE my partners?!

Ino: Hey, we're not so happy about you either.

Sai:…

Granny Tsunade: Do you still want to go on the mission?

Naruto: HELL YEAH! But can you switch them with someone else?

Granny Tsunade: They're the only ones who volunteered.

Naruto: Damn it.

Naruto cursed under his breath, but he needed the money. It was worth every penny for Sakura. He stopped pouting and turned to his partners.

Naruto: Fine.

Granny Tsunade: All right then, Kakashi, you're the leader.

Kakashi: Naturally.

Ino: YAY!

Sai:…

Naruto: This is going to be hell on Earth.

As the team prepared to exit the village, Naruto saw Sakura coming up to him.

Sakura: Are you going on a mission?

Naruto: Um, yeah.

Sakura: Oh, okay then. Will you be back for my birthday?

Naruto: Wouldn't miss it for the world!

Sakura: Good! Because if you don't, I won't forgive you.

Naruto: I'll be back, I promise!

Sai pulled Naruto aside for a little man-to-man talk. Or…whatever.

Sai: So Sakura is right up your alley huh?

Naruto: WHAT?!

Sai: You and her click, is that how you say it?

Naruto: Um, yeah but she doesn't exactly think of me as more than a friend. I don't think…

Sai: You never know these things. I was reading this book and it said that girls are very complicated especially in showing emotion and affection.

Naruto: You sure do read a lot.

Sai: Don't you?

Naruto…what do you think?!

Ino: Hey Saaaaiiii! Come over here!

Sai: Well, most girls are anyways.

Kakashi was reading his book and walking at the same time. He seemed completely oblivious at the world around him. Sai wandered up to him and eyed the book.

Sai: Could I borrow that book after you're done?

Kakashi: No.

Sai: What's it about?

Kakashi: If I told you, then I'd have to kill you.

Sai: Well can I at least read ONE chapter?

Kakashi: No.

Sai: Can I at least read the summary?

Kakashi: If I said yes will you leave me alone?

Sai: Yes.

Kakashi: Then, yes.

Sai waited anxiously for Kakashi to hand over the book, but he just kept walking.

Sai: Are you going to give it to me?

Kakashi: No.

Sai: But you just said-

Kakashi: Dude, I'm not going to give you the book now or ever no matter how much you ask, so stop asking. I'll seriously tie you to that tree over there.

While Sai and Kakashi battled over the legendary book, mysteriously known as Make-Out Paradise, Naruto walked along bored as ever enduring hell itself. Ino decided to take advantage of his silence and talk about things that interested Naruto in the least like shoes, clothes, and hair. Just when Naruto thought he might be the first person in the world to actually die of boredom, he noticed the sand slowly replacing the ground.

Kakashi: We're here.

But the gleam in Naruto's eyes lasted for about 2 seconds. The sand was even more boring and dull than anything. There's was nothing as far as the eye could see. Naruto wanted to bury himself and die but Kakashi started talking again.

Kakashi: The official directions of this mission are to scout the border for anything remotely suspicious.

Ino: Like what? A puddle of water? A sandwich? Life?!

Kakashi: Yeah, I guess. Sai you take the west corner. Ino takes the east corner. Naruto take the south corner, and I'll be here at the north corner.

Naruto: You just split us up so you don't have to walk that much and I walk the farthest.

Kakashi: Yup.

Naruto: (I hate him)

Kakashi: Take these communicators to stay in contact and report anything suspicious. We'll all meet up in the center of the desert.

The team split up and went their separate ways.

Naruto: This is going to be easy. All I have to do is walk! Nothing is going to happen it's just a bunch of sand. The villagers were probably scared because they saw a cactus or something…

Now we all know that it's sooo not going to be that easy. Nothing in this show ever is, so thank you for reading and have a nice day! I'll hope to put up my next chapter really really REALLY soon. Review please!


	3. The enemy attacks, not really

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Naruto claimed that it would be easy, but after sometime walking through the desert, he became parched and half-delirious. He took out his water bottle from his backpack and put the bottle to his lips for less then a second after the water burned his tongue.

Naruto: Crap! Hot water? I've only been out here for like 5 minutes!

Naruto just kept on walking half dying, half looking around for suspicious things. Then he saw a figure in the horizon. He ran up to the figure, and as he got closer, he realized it was Sauske…with a metal detector.

Naruto: SAUSKE?!

Sauske: Oh hey Naruto.

Then Sauske went back to what he was doing, but Naruto couldn't believe what he was seeing.

Naruto: What are you doing out here?

Sauske: I lost my man-boob piercing and I think I dropped it somewhere around here.

Naruto: O…K.

Then Sauske turned to him and whacked him with the metal detector.

Naruto: OW, what was that-

But Sauske was gone, nowhere to be seen.

Kakashi: Hey, team found anything suspicious yet?

Ino: No, not yet. What about you, Sai?

Sai: Negative. Naruto?

Naruto: I saw Sauske with a metal detector…

Kakashi:…

Ino:…

Sai:…

Kakashi: Naruto, drink lots of water and try to stay out of the sun.

Naruto: Stay out of the sun?! Where? Do you see any shade anywhere?!

Kakashi: Didn't you bring a hat or something?

Naruto: No, I didn't think about taking one

Kakashi: You never do…just take of your jacket and wrap it around your head. It will keep the mirages away.

Naruto kept on walking after doing what Kakashi said. While he was walking he started thinking about Sakura. Her pink hair stood out so much. She was so hot. He couldn't wait until this mission was over and he could go party with her. He was starting to have nasty PG-13 thoughts that we all have sometimes when all of a sudden a kunai swishes past his hair and into the hot nothingness of the desert.

Naruto: What the fuck was that?!

It was definitely not a mirage. A figure in a black robe who must have been dying of the heat right now was walking towards him. He removed his hood revealing the face that looked almost like Sauske's, but it wasn't.

Naruto: Crap monkeys from hell. WHY?!

Ino was walking and trying to talk to Sai but he kept on turning the communicator off.

Ino: (He's just playing hard to get. He'll come around)

That's when she found the puddle of water. It was random and totally not supposed to be there. She stared at it intently.

Ino: Wow, I didn't think I was ACTUALLY going to see one.

She stared at her reflection in the water.

Ino: ooooo, hey good looking! You're smoking hot.

She blew a few kisses at herself and noticed that the reflection in the water was changing into something ugly, blue, and fishy.

Sai: Ugh, doesn't that girl take any hints…

He wiped the sweat from his face and grinned smugly. He figured now would be the perfect time. No Kakashi in sight! He removed his backpack and took out the Make-Out Paradise book. He had taken it from Kakashi when he wasn't looking.

Sai: Mwahahaha!

Sai slowly opened the book and was about to read when something hit him in the head.

Sai: Ow.

He looked up and around and found the source. A weird guy in an orange mask was throwing kunai backwards at him. Sai lifted a puzzled eyebrow.

Naruto stared at Itachi.

Naruto: Why you?! WHY NOW?!

Itachi: I can't find our new hide out. Why do they make it so hard to find?!

Naruto: Maybe it's because it's a SECRET hide out…

Itachi: Yeah but they should make a map or SOMETHING. I've been wandering around for days trying to figure this desert out! Why are you here.

Naruto: I'm on a mission to find you guys so I can get some money so I can get a present for a girl I like so that she'll like me back. (big breath)

Itachi: Oh.

Naruto:…

Itachi:…

Naruto: So do we fight now?

Itachi: Yeah I guess.

Ino: Eeeeew. You're so ugly. Don't talk to me. DON'T TALK TO ME!

Kitane: I'm going to kill you.

Ino: EEP!

Kitane: Then, I'm going to rape you!

Ino:…

Sai: What the hell?

Tobi: Weeeeeee! You're going to die!

Sai: Ummmm, you're a freak of nature.

Tobi: You're so mean! You'll pay for that! (throws exploding note)

Sai: (stare) you're supposed to light it…otherwise you're just throwing a piece of paper at me…and that's not very intimidating…

Tobi: SHUT UUUP! Shut up shut up shut up!

Kakashi could see the Sand Village coming up. He thought something would go horribly wrong and some unknown mission not even related to the original mission was going to come up and they save everybody's butts but not this time! Haha, boy is he wrong!


	4. The battle begins, sort of

Author's note: Hi everyone

Author's note: Hi everyone. I want to know if my script format is any good. Please let me know if I should change it! Thank you for your patience!

The Battle Begins, sort of

Sakura: Tsunade sama…

Granny Tsunade: What is it Sakura…

Sakura: Um, what mission did you give to Naruto and the others?

Granny Tsunade: It's just a scouting mission-

Sakura: phew…

Granny Tsunade: but there's a 100 chance that they'll battle Akatsuki…

Sakura: WHAT!?

Granny Tsunade: Did you say good-bye?

Sakura: Not in the way I wanted too…

Granny Tsunade: -sigh- Go.

Sakura: But I have a lot of work to do here. You're just going to let me go?

Granny Tsunade: This is more important. I'll just have Shikamaru do your paperwork…

Shikamaru: WHAT?! I never agreed to this!

Sakura: Thank you. -runs out of building-

Itachi: You're going down.

Naruto: I'm not stupid enough to look into your eyes and fall into your-looks into eyes

Itachi: -casts genjitzu-

Naruto: Oh crap.

Itachi: Ooooo, you're getting veeeeery sleepy.

Naruto: Uhhhhh -drool-

Itachi: Hahaha, I can't believe it actually worked!

Naruto: -snores really loud-

Itachi: OK, now that's just obnoxious…

Naruto: -hugs Itachi like a teddy bear-

Itachi: What the?! GET OFF OF ME!

Naruto: Sakura…you're so pretty.

Itachi: Get off man! Someone get this guy off of me!

Ino: I don't think so!

Kitane: Come on baby! Just one kiss! –water jitzu-

Ino: -dodges- I said no! (_crap, I don't have any good moves! Why do I have to be the weak and powerless one in this show? WHY?!)_

Kitane: What are you going to do, whip me with your super long hair?

Ino: Hmmmmm.

Kitane: -water jitzu-

Ino: -wets hair- HA!

Kitane: Huh?

Ino: -whips hair-

Kitane: Ow, that hurt. Waaaah! –starts to bleed-

Ino: Wow…

Kitane: What is your hair made of?! Acid?!

Sai: -sits on a rock bored as ever- Sigh

Tobi: Damn it! Stop looking bored! We're having a battle!

Sai: I can't help it. You're so pathetic…

Tobi: Fine. It's time to take out my secret weapon!

Sai: -lifts eyebrow as if almost interested-

Tobi: -takes out giant flamethrower/ heat seeking missile launcher/ ice cream shooter-

Sai: -backs away slowly- FUCK! What is that?!

Tobi: Oh, wait this isn't it…-digs around in pocket- OH here it is! –pulls out a slingshot and some chewed up gum- hehehe now I'll get you!

Sai: -slaps forehead- ugh, maybe the chewed up gum will scare Ino, but this is hardly a fight for me…-takes out artist book and magic pencil-

Kakashi stood by a giant tower in the sand village.

Kakashi: Ugh, and they always say that I'm the late one…

Gaara: What's up Kakashi?

Kakashi: -turns around- hey Gaara. Hey you haven't seen Naruto have you?

Gaara: No, not recently. Why?

Kakashi: We're on a scouting mission and they haven't come back yet…

Gaara: Oh, suckish.

Kakashi: Yeah. I should probably go search for them and make sure they're alive.

Gaara: Yeah.

Kakashi: Yup.

Gaara: Sooo, did you see the Hidden Mist vs. Hidden Cloud game yesterday?

Kakashi: Oh yeah! Tobi Flyin was on a roll!

Gaara: He scored a record 45 points!

Kakashi: No way!

So, while Kakashi and Gaara were talking about basketball, the others were straining not so hard to win their battles, except Naruto who's asleep. Find out more next chapter!


	5. The battle ends!

Author's Note: Hey People, Thank you to everyone who has been dedicated through out the story

Author's Note: Hey People, Thank you to everyone who has been dedicated through out the story. I really hope to wrap this story up in about 2 or 3chapters so yeah.

Naruto: -random mumbling-

Itachi: -screams for dear life- Oh my GOD! GET OFF OF MEEE!

Naruto: -snore-

Itachi tried to stab Naruto with a kunai but he missed and hit himself by mistake.

Itachi: AAHHH! My extremely sexy leg!

Finally Naruto woke up and saw himself clinging to an almost-in-tears Itachi.

Naruto: Woah! What the hell just happened?!

Itachi: Get away from me! You are an insane loofa from a mental factory.

Naruto: That's not very nice…

Itachi: GAH! You're hopeless. I'll just call the head guy and ask him if he can give me the directions to this secret hideout. Oh, I forgot. HE DOESN'T HAVE A CELL PHONE! Why is everyone in this organization so discreet?!

Naruto: Why don't you try looking by that rock that says 'secret hide out' on it?

Itachi looked around for a rock, but he didn't find anything, except sand.

Itachi: What rock?

Naruto: That one over there! -points-

There was still nothing to be found.

Itachi: ummmm. Are you OK?

Naruto: -laughs maniacally-

Itachi: -backs away slowly-

Naruto: Look! There's a rabbit wearing a tuxedo standing by it! Now there's something you don't see everyday!

Itachi: Um, yeah. I'm gonna go…

Naruto: AHAHAHAHA!

Itachi: -runs away-

Naruto sat on the ground about to pass out then he felt a splash of cold water on his face.

Kitane backed away from Ino who snickered and walked slowly towards him. He was covered in bleeding scratches caused by Ino's healthy and strong hair.

Ino: (I guess all that rinsing and repeating really paid off!)

Kitane: WAIT! I'm supposed to be the scary one!

Ino tried to whip him one more time, but the desert heat had dried her hair, making it soft and lovely again.

Kitane: Hahaha, what are you going to use to attack me now.

Ino: Uh oh.

Kitane started moving towards her when a pack of dogs attacked Kitane.

Kitane: AAAAHHH! What the hell?

Ino turned around happy to see Kakashi standing behind her.

Sai started drawing one of his lion drawings and as usual it popped right out of his book and started digging a hole.

Tobi: Is that all you can do? Draw?

Sai: It's better than doing whatever you're doing.

Tobi: You son of a bi-

At that moment Sai's drawing picked up Tobi by the collar of his robe and put him in the hole he had been digging.

Tobi: Hey! Get me out of here!

Sai: Sorry. No can do.

Sai got up from the rock he was sitting on and noticed something strange about it. He studied the rock carefully and noticed that it said 'SECRET'. He figured it was the Akatsuki secret hideout and that was why there were so many Akatsuki members around here. He commanded the lion to destroy the rock so nobody else could get in. Then Sai walked away calmly as the drawing exploded into ink. Tobi's screams and complaining could be heard in the distance.

Kakashi: So, Kitane. You think you can beat me?

Kitane: -throws fish-

Kakashi: Ow! JERK!

Kakashi punched Kitane and he flew across the desert into the unknown.

Kakashi: Well then, that's taken care of.

Ino: So, do we go back to the village? Let's meet up with everybody first.

Then the two both headed towards the Sand Village.

Naruto flickered his eyes open to see the pink-haired beauty sitting next to him.

Sakura: It doesn't look like you have any injuries…

Naruto got up in a flash of lightning scaring the crap out of Sakura.

Naruto: What are you doing here?! Wait a minute, this must be one of those mirages that Kakashi had warned me about.

Sakura bonked Naruto on the head in annoyance.

Sakura: No, doofus I'm not a mirage. I walked all this way to see if you were OK and you repay me by scaring the crap out of me and calling me a mirage. What's wrong with you?!

Naruto's face showed signs of relief that she was here beside him and fear that she might beat him up. Sakura's expression changed.

Sakura: If I hadn't shown up, you would have died out here of heat and dehydration.

Naruto loved it when she used big words. He also liked it when she used big words to describe him.

Naruto: Come on. Let's meet up with the others.

Naruto grabbed Sakura's hand and Sakura felt a rush of heat go through her body, and it wasn't because of the desert.


End file.
